Held, Not Hurried: A Somatic Guide to Softening the Holidays

The holiday season often arrives with an unspoken demand to move faster, do more, and hold everything together. For many people, this pace already feels overwhelming. In light of recent tragic events, both locally and afar, the nervous system may be carrying even more than usual.

Even when we are not directly impacted, violence, loss, and acts of hatred can ripple through the body. These experiences can leave us feeling tender, unsettled, angry, numb, or quietly unsafe. They can also leave us feeling powerless in the face of what we cannot fix or control.

These responses are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are human nervous system responses to events that disrupt our sense of safety and meaning.

This holiday season is not unfolding in a vacuum. It is happening in a world that feels heavy for many. That context matters.

This guide is not about bypassing what is happening or forcing calm. It is an invitation to soften where possible, to offer your body moments of support, and to move through the season feeling held rather than hurried.

Why the Holidays Can Feel Overwhelming

The nervous system takes in far more than we consciously register. During the holidays, stimulation increases across many channels at once. There is more visual input from lights and decorations. There is more noise, conversation, and social interaction. There are more emotional dynamics to navigate and more decisions to make.

Even experiences that are meant to be joyful can become overwhelming when the nervous system has not had time to settle. When the body senses too much input too quickly, it responds by bracing, speeding up, or staying on alert.

This can show up as urgency, irritability, exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, or a feeling of being constantly “on.” None of this means you are failing. It means your nervous system is responding to increased demand.

Hurry Is a Nervous System State

Hurry is not just a scheduling problem. It is a physiological state in the body. You might notice it as shallow breathing, tension in the shoulders or jaw, a faster walking pace, or a sense that you must rush from one thing to the next.

Hurry often appears before we consciously recognize it. The body moves into action as a way to cope with pressure and uncertainty. Slowing down does not mean ignoring responsibilities or disengaging from the world. Slowing down is a way of staying resourced enough to remain present, connected, and humane when the pace around us accelerates.

Gentle Somatic Practices to Support the Body

You do not need long practices or perfect conditions to support your nervous system. Small moments of regulation can make a meaningful difference.

Pendulation

Pendulation is the practice of gently moving your attention between places of tension and places of ease in the body. You might notice a tightness in your chest, shoulders, or jaw. You can then intentionally notice a place that feels more neutral or supported, such as your feet on the floor or your back against a chair.

By slowly moving your awareness back and forth, you help the nervous system learn that discomfort can exist alongside safety. This can reduce overwhelm and create more internal space.

Orienting

Orienting helps the nervous system reconnect with the present moment. You can do this by slowly letting your eyes move around the space you are in. Notice shapes, colors, light, or objects that feel neutral or pleasant.

This practice reminds the body that you are here and now, not in the past and not in imagined danger. It can be especially helpful when you feel unsettled or on edge.

A 60-Second Grounding Practice

You can begin by placing both feet on the ground. Let one hand rest on your chest or belly. Take a slow breath in through your nose, and then allow your exhale to be slightly longer than your inhale.

Next, name one thing you can feel in your body, one thing you can hear, and one thing you can see. This simple sequence can interrupt urgency and help bring your attention back into the present moment.

Sensing What Enough Feels Like

In a culture that values productivity and endurance, many people lose touch with what enough actually feels like. This can include enough stimulation, enough connection, enough responsibility, or enough giving.

Learning to sense your limits is an act of care rather than selfishness. You might begin by asking yourself gentle questions. You can ask what your body needs less of right now, what helps you feel more present, or what would support you in this moment.

There are no correct answers. There are only honest ones.

Creating Pockets of Presence

You do not need to overhaul the holiday season to feel more supported. Often it is the small pockets of presence that matter most. These moments can be brief and simple.

You might pause before a transition. You might take a breath together with a child. You might let a task wait while you sit for a moment. You might choose connection over efficiency when possible.

These small pauses help the nervous system remember that it is not alone.

Closing Reflection

The holidays do not need to be perfectly calm or joyful to be meaningful. They simply need to be navigated with care. If you feel tender this season, it does not mean you are weak. If you feel overwhelmed, it does not mean you are failing. If you feel the need to slow down, it means you are listening.

Slowing down is not falling behind. It is choosing to stay with yourself. May this season include moments where you feel supported, grounded, and gently held. May you move through it with care for yourself and compassion for what you are carrying.

Held, not hurried.