Holding the Holidays: Why This Season Feels So Big in Our Bodies

I chose this image because the small, glowing compartments feel symbolic of how the holidays live inside us. Each box like a pocket of stored memory, sensation, association, or emotion, some remembered consciously and others carried quietly beneath the surface.

The holiday season tends to amplify whatever we carry. Our joy, our tenderness, our grief, our expectations, and the stories we have inherited about what this time of year is supposed to feel like. Even for those who love the holidays, there is often a sense of intensity or emotional activation that arrives long before the decorations go up.

As a therapist, and as someone who has had a complex relationship with this season, I have spent years paying attention to why the holidays feel so emotionally charged for so many of us. What I have learned personally and professionally is this:

The holidays live in the body just as much as they live in the mind.

The sights, sounds, smells, and rituals of this season act as sensory anchors. They bring forward memories, expectations, family patterns, and emotional imprints we may not consciously think about the rest of the year.

The Body Remembers Seasonal Cues

Holiday cues are highly specific:

• scents like pine or cinammon

• cold air

• certain songs

• certain foods

• familiar decorations

• repeated routines and gatherings

  
  

Because these cues show up once a year and often arrive all at once, our bodies respond strongly. For many, these sensory signals activate emotional memories, both tender and painful.

You might notice:

• a tightening in your chest

• pressure in your throat

• a dip in your stomach

• a wave of nostalgia

• a sense of overwhelm

• a longing you cannot name

  
  

These responses are often somatic echoes of earlier experiences.

Why the Holidays Feel Layered

From a nervous system perspective, the holidays combine several activating elements:

1. Old Family Patterns

Dynamics, roles, and expectations often resurface, even if we are decades into adulthood. The body remembers how it once had to adapt.

2. Sensory Memory

Holiday cues act like emotional time capsules. A scent, a song, or a decoration can transport us back to moments we did not realize were still alive inside us.

3. Transitions and Comparison

The end of the year naturally stirs reflection. We often compare where we are to where we hoped to be.

4. Cultural Pressure

The collective expectation of joy, harmony, and celebration can intensify whatever feels unsettled inside us.

5. Financial and Emotional Labor

The invisible work of the season planning, coordinating, gifting, hosting, and navigating different households can feel like a full-time job.

6. Tenderness and Memory

Even positive memories can stir grief. Holidays remind us of people who are no longer here, of versions of ourselves we have outgrown, and of chapters that have closed.

All of this happens in the body, often before our minds catch up.

If the Holidays Feel Complicated, You Are Not Alone

Many people do not talk about how layered the holidays can be. The season often brings up both the parts of us that remember joy and the parts that remember tension or loss. It is common to feel mixed emotions or to feel like your internal experience does not match the energy of the season around you.

The holidays often hold paired truths:

• excitement and overwhelm

• gratitude and grief

• connection and loneliness

• nostalgia and discomfort

• anticipation and dread

  
  

This does not mean something is wrong with you. It means your body holds a story.

Three Somatic Practices for This Season

If you notice yourself becoming activated as the holidays approach, here are three gentle practices that can help:

1. Pause and Orient

Look around the room and name:

• 3 things you see

• 2 things you hear

• 1 thing you feel

  
  

Orientation brings you back into the present moment and signals safety to your nervous system.

2. Name What Is Here

Acknowledging your internal experience helps regulate your system. Try saying:

• Something in me feels overwhelmed.

• My chest feels tight.

• It makes sense I am feeling this.

  
  

Naming creates space inside the experience.

3. Choose One Value to Guide You This Season

Instead of trying to manage everything, choose one value connection, creativity, rest, simplicity, presence and let it guide your choices.

Ask yourself: What matters most to me this holiday season? This question will become increasingly important as the series continues.

A Closing Reflection

As we enter the holidays, you may notice old patterns, memories, or emotions surfacing. Rather than pushing past your experience or forcing yourself into a mood that does not feel true, see if you can approach your internal world with gentleness.

You do not need to solve your relationship with the holidays. You only need to meet it with honesty.

✨Next week, I will be exploring gratitude the kind that supports the nervous system rather than bypassing what is real.